and you think i know no pain?

pain? what would they know?
sorrow? how many of them have experienced the half of what i have?
do they reserve any right to speak of it?

would i not understand that feeling?
pain? a pastime
loneliness? a daily struggle
guilt? a constant quicksand
rejection? an eternal fact of life
inferiority? every second of my education
shame? more than anyone could ever imagine
disappointment? beyond belief

pain is no more than a fact of life for me.
and they say i don't understand it.

they think i'm simply who i am at the surface.
they don't know me.

so much, so much you all don't know.
what right have you to speak.

you know not of what i've been through.
expectations, shames, disappointments are all but part of my life.

but i live on,
treasuring the little happiness i can find.
relishing it, cherishing it.

i cling on to what little i have,
and survive.

the time shall come,
when i will be made new.
when my sorrows, hurts and all my pain,
will be taken away, to the lofty heavens,
lost, to be recovered no more.
it is until then, i cling on to the hope of my calling.
it is until then, i await You, my Lord.