photo of the day

nice nice :)

lucas is finally in LA and has an internet connection :)

yes, i'm finally in LA after the longest thursday in my life. basically, today was... 39 hours long o.o time differences can kill! anyway, the plane ride was super duper awesome. sat business class before transit (6h), and economy class after transit (10-11h). my ipod really served me well as i watched 2 episodes of house and countless hours of music :)) but for a lot of the time, my face was merely glued to the window next to my seat. for the most part, i was so inspired and awestruck by the amazing views offered by the magical window seat :D

some thoughts i penned down during the flight:

I found another reason why I want to be a pilot. As I stared out the window of the plane, adoring the already wondrous sight, with the sun rising over the horizon and the endless carpet of white billows, I wondered, what would the view be like from the cockpit? to be looking far into the distance, absorbing the beautiful rays of the mighty sun as it shines over the grand carpet of clouds.

As the sun rose and its light shone upon the little icicles forming on the glass window, a myriad of colours burst forth thhrough the glistening ice formations, capturing my eyes as i tried to follow the changes of the bountiful colours. 

Even as I stare downwards at the clouds a good distance below, it seems strangely mystical. one observation: the cirrus (sp?) clouds have depth! that's not something you could ever see from way down below on the ground. you could see the revolving tunnels as the clouds spun in the air. the strange mingling of the transparency and opacity of the clouds just blew me away. 

as we touched down, we did a little walking here and there andddddddd. went to shop :) never had the power to shop like this before! bought so many things hahaha. and today's just the first day! awesome, right? anywayyyy. i'm gonna have to go off now, maybe i'll look around for another photo of the day later :D

chow!

photo(s) of the day

just found this website: www.brucepercy.co.uk

really interesting photography. i wish i could take pictures like these :X

 the first two photos just capture so many colours it's amazing. the cameras used are amazing :O

the last one is classic landscaping, with beautiful colours from the sky.

 

 

photo of the day

taken from oay.tumblr.com

funny video - angry birds!

angry birds in the arab-israel conflict

hahaha this is golden, aside from the vulgaraties uttered ><

trying out posterous.com!

hmm. maybe i'll try going to back to blogging again.
after all, with all the free time i have right now o.o

lucas used to be a happier boy...

while sitting in macs today, I saw two boys dashing across outside macs. a one of the boys ran, I saw in his face a very familiar expression of glee.
it reminded me of events long passed, of emotions long forgotten. of innocence, and of the freedom we once enjoyed as children, as blank slates.
yet, now here we are pursuing a successful life full of further stresses and aspirations. when will it ever end? why do we work so hard for things so immaterial and perishable?
why can we not live as we did as children, enjoying periods without a care in the world, spending time with the friends that mattered? of course, living all the time like that would be purely irresponsible, so I only ask for short periods of time where we can enjoy this.
A time when impressions need not be upheld, a time without inhibitions or cares. to be away from the mad rush of life and work, away from the pressures and expectations we try so hard to live up to, away from the harsh reality of life - a time simply to be free..
such a pity dreams don't last long.

stress

lucas is in serious need of motivation now.

with the less than desirable CT results as well as the piling workload,

not to mention the remedials that i'll have to attend.

the word "stress" is finally starting to mean something to me.

i never really understood, or could identify with it.

it's a feeling that is rather strange, actually.

that faint tugging, the constant worry, the perpetual frown.

it really pisses me off.

i REALLY can't wait for end of may.

once responsibilities are passed.

i'll start on my final journey in school.

the straight run for the A LVLs.

kinda akin to the last 100m in 2.4km run.

well, jiayou jiayou.

death

i know i really shouldn't be here, and i should be studying for math,

but this warrants my time, warrants my effort.

just today. an old acquaintance of mine passed away.

yes. he passed away. even now, it feels so surreal, so misty a scene.

'death the leveller', 'death is no respecter of persons' these are terms that i always used, casually or not. somehow, these terms now come to me as so much more real, so much more painfully cruel.

there's always the thought of maybe, somehow, i could have talked to him then.

maybe, somehow, i could have gotten to know him better.

maybe, somehow, i could have been there for him.

well, it's too late now. he's gone and gone for good.

this post is then in memory of an acquaintance i barely knew,

called forth from what little i remembered of him.

Thank God for my memory.

what i remember of wesley, for some reason, still comes as more than a shady memory.

true, i haven't seen him in more than 3 years, and once since 6 odd years?

what i know of him and his issues were mainly conveyed to me by my mother.

He always struck me as a timid but very nice lad.

his pale complexion and soft gestures spoke of a polite young man.

in my younger days i do remember times spent at his home, whcih i used to visit.

i remember the pool outside his house where i swam once or twice.

I remember the neat room he used to stay in.

I remember his bashful attitude which seemed to me a book that didn't want to be opened.

all in all, i remember him as a nice lad.

as we grew up, he stopped coming to church, so i barely saw him.

of course, i stil heard about him and did want to approach him.

amos and elsia did approach him when i was in j1 i think.

and i know nat sim did talk to him a bit.

we did try to invite him to our 17 yr old gathering last year.

i would always remember the pleading face of his mom asking us to talk to him, to befriend him.

sigh. how unfortunate. never had the time huh?

what a pathetic, unfeeling excuse.

now look, what is there to chase after?

vanity of vanities, all is vanity.

all of us deserve to be rebuked.

what pittance we have given to wesley.

he deserved more.

even now, this inanimate unfeeling stone i call my heart feels nothing.

nothing more than passivity. a passing piece of news.

the modern society has desensitized what i conceptualize of death.

but a concept? but a passing necessity? an arbitrary constant to all man?

what has become of today's society? what has become of me?

i deeply yearn to feel something.

to feel a deep remorse, regret, longing for.

but, all i see, is a dark abyss. a black hole. a void.

as we all grow up, the deceased we know also increases.

just recently, i remember chong kiat, aunty ruby, and now wesley.

all i see of them and what they mean to me, are but holes.

voids which were once occupied, which were once meaningful.

what is wrong with me.

as i grow up, i know there'll be more of this.

i'll be seeing more of life.

and i hope. i do hope, i'd feel more.

to those voids that now are present, i want to keep locked in my memory.

i don't want to forget.

it is only now that i realize how painful and how regretful it is to forget.

to forget things that once were is to throw them away.

memories can never be revived but they are memories.

they are things, mysterious substances that, i believe, add to one's psyche.

it is every little thing that happens to a person, that makes a person who he or she really is.

and i don't want to forget.

the ultimatum posed by 'forgetting' is too cruel.

i don't want to forget.

i really don't.

i'm old :D

well.

today we had german day again.

and then went back to school for music fest practice.

basically it was just me, austin, linjin, zuohao and yifan.

ahh. all of a sudden i feel strangely aged.

talking to the j1s like i've somehow been there, done that.

and like, am all appropriate to give advise and stuffs.

well, i don't know. i always liked to have the position of an older brother,

one of giving advise, words of wisdom and stuffs, sharing various experiences.

but all in all, i just really feel old (of age)

yay :D

happy :)

ahhhh.

mrmf is the love.

idkwhyyyy.

the pracs are kinda stressful but it's always fun :)

plus, the joy of staying in school late.

despite my disappointing napfa (20 points more than the required 6 for bronze, and still got bronze =.= ) i am still pretty happy today.

i dunno why :)

just can't stop smiling.

ahhh.

the j1s who take german are also quite interesting.

made a new friend today. (charlante or something)

pretty cool name :)

hahaha. acutally she just asked me for my name and vice versa.

hahahahahaha.

saw hilary. since like ages. lol :D

well, the performance during german day was so-so.

we did much better in our rehearsals, oh well...

buttt.

response was good, i guess.

and OMG. RI GUYS ARE SO OBNOXIOUS. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

heh.

anywayy.

back to my gp essay. and msn. and facebook.

ps. doing essays with essay outlines is so awesome :D

:)

hoho. i feel happy.

just spend the past hour trying to mug chem :O

yes, me. mug chem :O :O :O

trying to summarize org chem.

it's kinda shitty cause everything, EVERYTHING is linked.

like really. extensively.

buttttttt. i feel good mugging :)

hoho and GLEE IS NICE.

take 5!

hahahaha. take 5 was kinda dry =/ but i played the rodeo thing! quite fun (Y) got an abrasion though =[ anywayyyyy. school's out! at least, until wednesday :) i have third lang later though :(

rawrrrrr. yay.

shopping!

hahaha shopping is fun :)

but tiring

though it was only 2 hours.

but still fun.

bought 1 pair of black berms,

1 pair of long pants

1 long sleeve shirt

1 t shirt :)

hahahahaha.

carls jr for lunch (Y)

the girls in my life

okay. for one, the title sounds quite weird.

however.

this post is long overdue.

in this post i will include stories of how i met them, how we became good friends, and sadly, how we drifted.

maybe let's start wayyyy back.

when i was a little kid.

the first name that came to my mind was Claudia.

well of course, i met her in church, wayyyy back when we were little toddlers.

of course, i really enjoyed her company due to her bubbly attitude.

well, in some sense we were never really close friends, for some reason.

while not close, we were friends for a long time and that attributed something.

unfortunately, with conflicting circumstances, we don't really talk much nowadays.

of course, i would still take every chance to chitchat and catch up, and it really is nice to reminiscence about the old days, when we were little kids and nothing really mattered to us. about the exciting and colourful lives in church. from sunday school childrens' corner and even chinese sunday school! those were awesome times that i pray i would never forget. even now some things slip my mind and i don't want to lose those memories.

the next name that comes to my mind is Robyn.

well, for some reason, i only started talking to her in, i think, sec 3. of course, we were all church friends and we were acquaintances. I think it was after ABC or something when i really started talking to her. For some reason, there are always weird times when i see a person and decide that i should get to know that person. this was the case with Robyn. Slowly, we became closer, shared problems, thoughts and the like. This was also memories that i treasure dearly. this kept on until the BYMET trip to cambodia, which really made a difference. i will always remember the times we shared as that BYMET group. A priceless memory would be that of sitting under the vast expanse of the dark sky above, appreciating the wonder of God's creation. Appreciating how small and yet loved by God we were. The stars were nothing short of breathtaking. Kudos to weihong again, for the awesome pictures which he managed to take, helping us forever keep those memories close to our hearts. however, our friendship sorta reached a stalemate and we kinda started drifting. we both had different interests, different motivations and we didn't progress any further. However, i will always remember the times shared together in the various camps, trips and whatnot. while we are not as close as before, i will always remember the joyful, mischievous character that never failed to provide delight :)

the next name is Althea. well. we actually do go a long way back but i never did talk to her. it was only until after ABC in 07 i think. For some reason, we started talking and chatting. It's quite funny really, how we did started talking. I still remembered how we called each other and how the names changed. from friend-i-talk-to-when-i'm-bored to good-friend-i-talk-to-when-i'm-bored-and-feeling-sad. slowly it progressed to best friends and then our pet names G(azelle) and D(oe). The origins of which are preferably kept out of this. well. i talked to her cause she was a very interesting girl. she had many unique interests as well as opinions. she also had a flair for writing which was something i admired, even though she was a full 2 years younger. i wanted to be a brother to her, a guide. i wanted to listen to her problems, to help her in any way i could. still, she was a very good friend, listening to my troubles and supporting me too. i will never forget her crazy highs and extreme moodswings. Of course, as time passes, we all change, some subtly, some maybe a little more. we are still on very good terms, i guesss, but we don't talk as much as we used to. i guess i can say she's occupied so all i can do is wish her happiness. althea, you too, made a difference in my life. i wish you all the best with all your endeavours, especially with your O lvls this year. jiayou! and thank you.

the next name that comes to my mind is rachel. now this one, is an interesting character. well, once again, i met her in church, way back. her father's another plane enthusiast, like my dad! well. i only started talking to her maybe in sec3/4 too. I guess we were never really exactly close. She's a difficult one to get close to. she is still very guarded but i do appreciate her perpetual joyful face which brings delight to everyone around her. but for some reason, i see more than beyond that farce. this is more the reason why i started talking to her. i didn't believe that she was so simple, so carefree. slowly, i found out more, but am still standing on shaky ground. she has proven to be a delightful friend, though our conversations, more often that not, die out at both of us just saying 'haha' and not responding to the conversation. i wish she could open up more, but that should happen in time to come. while we may not have that many shared experiences, i appreciate the friendship that we have and will continue to try to nurture it in the coming years. cheers :)

the next name is natalie! well. we met in church, grew up together, have families which were quite close, having went on various trips together. our relationship only budded, however, in an ABC too. it was there that i decided to listen to her rants and from then on, our friendship blossomed. she made me her di and her my jie. no matter what circumstance i was in, she would always be there, to encourage, to give a helping word. without fail, she'd be the one to come to offer help, offer words and verses to pull my through my more horrible days. to jie, i will continue to appreciate and treasure the loving guidance you've provided me all these years. i will treasure the times we have spent together and i wish you all the best. the road ahead is still long and i hope that there will be many years ahead, that we will continue to encourage each other. thanks for all the love :)

the next few will be those that i knew from school. that i met, mostly through band.

the first name to mind is Kimberley. I doubt she would consider these feelings mutual or that she thinks highly of our friendship, but she is a very very interesting character. i first met her probably in sec 1 or 2. i remembered her, but she probably didn't remember me. through my weird means, i got her msn and we started talking during i think sec 4. we really did talk extensively and we did share our personal moments. in fact, before school started in j1, we really did talk a lot over msn. we talked of our visions, hopes, motivations and aspirations for the coming JC life and we got excited and sometimes moody about it. well, the reason why i liked talking to kimberley was because she was so entertaining. while she may have the mind and brains of any normal person, she had the golden heart of a child. she always struck me as so innocent and demure. because of this, i found her a real pleasure to talk to, amusing, most of the time. unfortunately, as time progressed, she got busy with school and all. after she quit band we didn't really talk much. we still do talk, occasionally, but only on rare occasion. nonetheless, to me, she is still esteemed as a once-upon-a-time good friend and i treasure whatever moments that we had together. jiayou for our last year in school!

the next name is weiqi. now, this one is a long story too. in fact, i dunno how i started talking to her. i'm not sure of the basis by which i started talking to her etiher. we just did start talking and we kinda caught on. at one point in time we really were quite good friends. sharing scandals, experiences were usually the hot topics of our discussion. i still remember when we first started band in j1, that was, i think, the peak of our friendship. it was quite funny actually. i complained, and she knew, that she looked dao. so like everytime i saw her i told her that she'd have to give a big wide smile! it was actually quite funny and amusing. we used to have quite some fun talking. but (ah the fateful word that turns everything aroudn) again, we drifted. i was quite sad actually, even jealous, maybe, that she was talking to other guys. i know, it's really selfish and childish but that's what i honestly felt. we slowly drifted, she made better friends and we kinda stopped talkling. of course, today we still meet regularly during band still talk, but things aren't the same as they used to be. oh well =/ it was fun while it lasted and i thank you too. cheers to our batch!

the second last name that i will be talking about is chloe. haha. another funny story behind why we talked. of course, i knew her face especially since sec 3, when she was SC for rgs. i remember her twinkle twinkle little star conducting which, it appears, is an rgs tradition (which is kinda weird, in my opinion). the impression i got of her then, was that she was some super duper strict person who was serious all the time. believe or not, i think i was a little scared of her. wellllllll. it acutally all began in a NBC (nightly batch convo) that we had some time in early j1. with my impression of her still fresh, she tore it apart by going high in the convo. this continued on for a long time. from there, i took an interest to talking to her and we slowly grew. we were kinda close, at some point in time. mid-late j1, i think. she was an interesting girl, who was mature in her own ways and i admired her. she was smart, mature and amusing, in her own little ways. like many others we had pet names. such include pet rambutan, pet strawberry, kloayee and so on and so forth. she was one of those that used like 'dear' and 'darling' very loosely so it was kinda entertaining. and omg. her twit. LOL. we also shared various opinions with regards to christianity and that was one of the bases for our friendship. however, towards late j1 i guess we kinda drifted a little too. we're still on good terms, yes, but we don't talk as much. i don't blame her, cause she's very clearly busy with all her academia and stuff. nevertheless, i treasure the times we had together and hope that our friendship will get better again, in future. cheers to you too :)

finally, the last name that i will mention today, is hillary. she's a girl i met in my trip to germany (one of the singaporeans i went with, duh. not a german). well. it all started when warren had to sit next to her in the flight to germany. he told me about her and her various achievements. and i was unduly impressed. from there, i wanted to get to know her, mostly because i admired what she could do. it never really worked out until one day in the bus when we started talking. haha she's one chatty one. we did talk for a bit and i found out a lot about her. the reason why i talked to her, was because she was everything i wanted to be and so much more! she is a little crazy but has reflective moments, she plays music (REALLY REALY WELL), she is a christian, she has flown planes before. like OMG. she's like, what ii've aspired to be. but i can't say i'm jealous of her. she has her own problems and views on life that i don't quite agree on, but we're still friends and we talk alot. i'm honoured to be one of her few friends but at least that's something. we really caught on and are still talking. i don't know how long this willl last, but i hope our friendship continues to grow.

all these friends mentioned were and still are important to me. to those that have drifted, i..

OOPS. OMG. I CAN"T BELIEVE I FORGOT TWO MORE NAMES.

yes yes yes.

these two were also AWESOME friends.

the first of the two is ASMIDAH.

she was one of six girls who were in the same class as me from p1 to p6. she really was an awesome friend. like awesome awesome awesome. it's quite funny, cause my brother and her sister are good friends too, but that's beside the point. with asmidah i've had some of my MOST enjoyable years in primary school. she is part the reason why i enjoyed primary school so much. i would always remember the friendly competition that we always had as well as the numerous, uncountable experiences that we shared. the most memorable experience, that both of us mutually treasure (i hope) is that of National day 2003. it was the NDP preview for all p5s to go for. i remember sitting with her in those concrete seats, watching the fireworks in the sky. to us, then, that was probably something that filled our little hearts and minds with insurmountable wonder. those moments were what made my primary school years so enriching and enjoyable. to asmidah, while we don't even see each other anymore, i have treasured all the times we spent together throughout our years in primary school. it's a pity that i didn't join u in NUSHS but i'm still happy for the years we had. i will continue to treasure our friendship and appreciate your presence and every memory that we've shared. BFF :)

the other name is denise.

ah. we go a loooooooong way back to. like asmidah, she's one of the six girls that was classmates with me through out primary school. we shared numerous experiences together too, as well as spent much time talking to each other. especially when p3/4 started and we became friends with sikai. that was when we really started doing things together and enjoying each other's company. you were one of my dearly treasured best friends and one of the few people whom i actually term best friends. unfortunately, we have drifted much but i'm glad you've found your own path in life. i wish you all the best too! holding on to the promises made when we were but toddlers, bff :)

all these were things that i wanted to say in my heart for a long time now. it feels so good to have released all that i wanted to say in this very very long post. i dunno if they'll ever read this post, but i'm glad i posted it. this is so much of an emotional release. maybe one thing i could include were the some lines from my batch song that i would like to dedicate to all the above mentioned.

when we look back, will we remember each moment of this year.

the days that mark our time in here threaten to disappear.

all that we have's the moment, to treasure while we can,

seizing every chance we're blessed with and live with no regrets.

thank you, dear friends (L)

edit: omg i pasted this into a word doc, and realized it was 2.6k words long D:

no wonder it took an hour.

ahh. emotional release.

walking down the lonely road

far into the silent night

the solitude, the solace of my own quite abode -

the depth of my heart

thinking of what never was,

of what was not meant to be,

with only the pale face of the moon for company.

how i wish i could freeze the picture

to ever traverse in limbo

cares all past, worries far away.

eternal bliss.

ahhh. i've totally lost my flair for this.

it's been way too long.

welll.

today german class ended with weird stuffs

concerning one's will and of poems and such.

i dunno man.

german lessons seem kinda..

idk.

pointless?

yet i know i have much to do before i reach 'A' standard,

which is really pretty far at the moment.

i need some motivation.

i need some inspiration.

life is dreary, but it moves on.

the little i have, i must learn to cherish.

with those around me, with those who appreciate me.

regardless of manner, i believe i still matter to some people.

it's nice to feel appreciated, to feel wanted.

to feel like you belong.

i still long for one who could understand me,

who could connect with me.

one with whom i could express myself freely.

for that,

i will wait.

till then,

praise be to God :)

O Sacrifice of Calvary,

O Lamb whose sacred blood was shed,

O great High Priest on heaven's throne,

O Victor from the dead.

Here I recall your agony

Here see again your blood-stained brow

Beyond the sign of Bread and Wine

I know your presence now

No longer, Saviour, do yo plead

Your glorious sacrifice unique,

Yet Lord, in heaven intercede

While I your mercy seek.

Before your Holy Table laid

I kneel once more in love and peace,

Your Blood and Flesh my soul refresh

With joy that shall not cease.

die welle

well i just watched Die Welle (The Wave in english)

It was a very sombre-ing movie.

go wiki it.

i really feel like saying more, but gotta chiong german now.

AVATAR

hahahaha

just came back like half an hour ago.

avatar was pretty awesome.

On one hand it was very much predictable, the classic epic with all its predictable ups and downs. There were very few surprises, but the graphics were nothing short of awesome. It was really realistic, delving into a foreign world of fantastic lights and nature.

Once again, there is that familiar recurring theme in most fantasy epics. Everything around is but an expression of balance and everything is connected to each other through nature. Strange enough, such a theme has found its way in various aspects of culture. It was a refreshing experience. They took an old clichéd theme and revamped it in lifelike graphics coupled with very ingenious art. Emotions surged at points where some characters died and all hope seemed to be lost. But, as expected, something changed, turning the whole story in the lead's favour. Some things never change xD

On the whole however, i feel that the movie was well worth it. finally got a chance to see it :)

that's all for now.

starting tmr i will officially start panicking for work to be done xD

goodnight :)

btw. this car is awesome.

still a concept xD

woots

lol. i've been wasting the past two days.
playing wolfteam o.o
i'm 18 omg >.<

gah.
off to bed now :)

sunday

oh mannnn.

the weekends are over.

i'm still so tired =/

tried to do coursework in church.

didn't do much :X

hais.

sch starting again tmr :(

firday!

YES.
FINALLY AT THE END OF THE WEEK.

OH YEAH.

YES

hahahaha yay.

done with coursework :))

now for some work with ramayana.

haha today's life page headlines:

The Ramayana's Reach.

LOL.

was just doing it for GP heh.

hah this is crazy.

time between posts is so erratic.

2days got 4 posts o.o

wtv.

COURSEWORK

rawr.

doing coursework now.

notably more cheerful then last night, i guess :)

rawr.

back to coursework.

ahh.

hmm.

i'm in school right now.

free internet free electricity.

okay maybe not, considering my disgusting school fees =/

ahhhhhh.

supposed to do kursarbeit.

i don't think i can make it by today =/

gahhhhh.

k. bye.

gah

you know, now i'm feeling really tired.

and really really lethargic. i dunno why.

i have stuffs piling up.

but i don't seem to be doing anything about it.

it's only the end of second week of school =/

hai..

i feel weird. i dunno.

gah.

never felt like this before.

omg. i think this is stress.

no.

maybe it's just laziness.

like omggggggg.

3 gp questions, COURSEWORK, proposals, MATH assgnmt, ARENES tut.

gah.

cmon =/

oh. and i hate my timetable too.

way too many free periods in between.

hmm. let's see.

monday, 4 blocks. sch end at 3.15 - 2 hr free

tuesday, 5 blocks, end at 3.15 - 3hr free

wednesday, 4+1 blocks , end at 1:30 (12.30 if no assembly) - 1hr free

thursday, 6 blocks, end at 4.10 - 3hr free

friday, 5 blocks, 3.15 - 3hr free

omggg.

hais.

anyway.

this was cute, xkcd.com. go read.