outing

haha.
today i went on an outing.
but once again, i've gone into a reflective mode.

what struck this thought was
a phrase i hear quite often, really.
"eh lucas ah, never change one, you"
haha.

anyway.
but i was thinking.

if one changes, what is left?
does he become another person altogether?
does he lose what he was before?
maturity, they call it?
hypocrisy, some name it?

i guess, change is inevitable.
people change, people mature.
but of what reasons?
the need to change oneself.
does that become hypocrisy,
being who you are not?
does that count as being double faced,
where only you know the true you?
who are you, really?
do you know?
are you sure?

questions, questions, questions.
lead to doubts,
lead to self delusion,
lead to... depression?

as far as i am concerned,
i recognize two 'me's.
is that wrong?
in appropriate circumstances,
i seem to switch between the two.
sometimes consciously,
sometimes not.
much as i strive to be who i want to be,
the original pops out.
i mean, that's just 'ME'
should i change?
should i strive for 'maturity'?

the other me,
the more 'mature' me,
whom people have rarely seen,
is one that thinks.
that's a virtue, in my opinion.
he is reserved, observant, thoughtful, concerned.
this person will not spout rubbish.
he is reflective, quiet, encouraging.
but how many people have seen this?

probably a hand full, maybe less.
this is cause, i say with much remorse,
i am an attention seeker (confession, ohmygosh?)
yes, i am.
oh well. it's just in me.
i spout rubbish a lot.
sometimes to be liked,
sometimes to be noticed.
i rarely understand why i do it anyway.
what's the point.

i, personally, don't like the idea of acquaintances.
acquaintances, i can easily say hundreds. maybe a thousand?
but of good (talk-able) friends, 10, 15?
close (confidable) friends 5?
see the difference?

all i ask in life, is maybe 5 good friends,
who can understand me, push me, encourage me.
in my opinion, that is more than enough for everyone.
these 5 good friends, who can go thru flame and hail for you,
through the land and sea to see you, and climb your mountains with
you on their backs.
how often can you find friends like that now?

people in this time and age,
all play a role in the great stage as casts.
when do we actually get off the stage,
and find ourselves.
perhaps the greatest way for anyone to be successful,
is the 'mere' task of self discovery.
that is all, maybe, i need.
self discovery.

haha.
hello ppeoplessss.
i'm here after acceding (rightword, perhaps?) to a threat.
i'm forced to post!
hahah.a
anyway.
these few days have been really boring.

i mean like, i go to sch for 3 hours then go home.
it's quite sad, really.
and it's not like the lectures are fun or anything.
some are really boring and all.

haha. but last night, went jamming (practise for OneVoice) for the firs ttime o.O
then went to marvin's house overnight stay.

hahaha. we went out at like, midnight to eat prata.

hahaha. camwhoring in the mid of the road x]

haha.
then we did a jigsaw puzzle!
1000 pieces in the night!
we finished at like, 3+am.

x]

video of the finishers =]

so anyway, ya. i twas fun.
and i'm super tired now!

haha. and once again, thanks to althea for posting x]

Clique! (excluding ____people) And yez i have short arms. (!!)
G can you update, tsk i've been posting so much k!

Anyway anyway like like like today is saturday.
And i was supposed t meet my maggy but malfunctioned again. ): x10.
So okay i have violin then i'm meeting some online girl t pay up!
Yayorz Althea needs new clothes badly like omg my wardrobe sucks now.
School has been pretty annoying like i only went for 3 days!
Cny cny cny cny cny cny cny.
Omg and red cliff II is so ultra sad i cried like 98765678 times.
But my Takeshi Kaneshiro didn't die omg he's so smart (L)

G IF YOU DONT UPDATE BY THIS WEEK I WILL STEP ON YOU TOMORROW WITH HEELS. Big smiley from me t you (:

Heh heh i know i'm late but happy birthday!
Yes i know my photo editting sucks but like i don't have photoshop okay!
So i used paint, th annoying thing didn't allow me t paste my photo there.
So i like resized it? G looks like some anorexic (spsps) retard!!(!!!!!!!!)
Its okay i look like nonsense too but its th only photo i have by myself ):

Okay birthday post!!
Hello G you have been my bestf for, uh 2 years?
Like a super mega ultra awesome one.
Even though i get th feeling you hardly understand some things i say,
Thanks for always listening.
And for th times i'd just rant at you when i was so angry
and and my not always so nice language,
my lousy attitude all, you'd like just listen.
Imagine, like two years of my hxchxc pms?
Talk about high threshold hahahaha (:
Yay and all th times i'd tell you about my crazy crushes!!
Like all 876487654345678743of them!
AND I'D LISTEN T YOUR ONLY ONE AND GET SO SHUDDERSHUDDERISH.
Oh oh and you never laughed at my marraigemarrieage(spsps) t like Ronaldo
Or tom felton or justin timberlake or david beckam!!!
Or did you? haha okay nevermind but you listened anyway! (:
YES BUT I KNOW YOU LAUGH AT MY SNEEZE.

K no more digressing.
Summary:
Yayorz for my bestf you're so old now ahaha i'm still 14!!
Love you muchos but before anyone takes this wrongly.
AS A FRIEND HELLO, AND TYVM PEOPLE.

Whooooooops (:

sangkhim p3

heyho dead blog and funny readers =]]

i'm finally back after....
a year!
HAHAHAHAH.
GET IT?

zzzz. nvm.
anyways.
i went to cambodia last week got home today.
it was fun. with a lot of fun, and a lot more of fun.
in short.
FUN =]

hahaha. i sound really high =]]
anyways.
i did learn a lot.
i've decided to commit a lot.
i'm gonna startmugging before school starts.
so unlike me =[
but i'm gonna changeeeeee.
i'm not gonna play comp games anymore!
i hereby declare that
lucas tan ren yi, age 17 as of 7 jan 2009, will stop playing all forms of
addictive computer games.

=]]]
that'lll probably the hardest commitment.
another is consistency.
i will be a person who's the same, in church, in school, in home.
this, this is defitenitely the hardest.

with al my commitments and resolutions in mind,
i hope that year 2009 will be a great year for me, of
growing and maturing. i pray earnestly that my
resolve would keep strong, that i may live appropriately
for God.