revive!

hais..
this is a weak attempt to revive my blog.

ahh
i'm just feeling really tired right now.

i'm tired, i'm worn.
tomorrow's math test.
i dun feel like studying.

mom's shouting around the house.
i don't feel like concentrating.
i feel like sleeping.

i'm confused over so many things
hopeful, though it's too unlikely.

envious, jealous, maybe.
but too confused to decide.

i dunno why but life's losing direction.
i don't see myself doing well in anything.
i don't see myself becoming who i wanna be.
i don't see myself doing what i should even be doing.
i'm starting to worry about the future
i'm starting to worry about my life.
i'm starting to worry about my relationship with God.

"let tomorrow worry for itself",perhaps.
but i dunno.
i'm so tired now.
band band band band band.

not that that's making me tired.
that's something to look forward to, infact, everyday.
lesson's are going crzy.
i'm two tutorials behind for math.
i barely understand the thrid topic of chem and we're on the fifth.
german's freaking me out.
GP's far less than wad i want.
Physics, nothing much to say.
really boring lessons.
REALLY MISS MY SECSCHOOL PHYSICS TEACHER!!

argh.
band band band. :D

at least something that can make me smile.
i really feel like sleeping now.

just staring around,
i feel the dryness in my eyes.
never thought it took so much effort to simply look around =[
i'm stoning as i ponder what else to say.

ahh.
boy, i'm tired.
tired of hoping.
tired of waiting.
tired of knowing naught.

i wish i were smarter.
i wish i were more talented.
i wish i had a flair for more things
i wish.. for so much more than i can ever have.

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
i must get back to God.
i've been drifting further and further.
and still doing nothing about it.

church is becoming routine.
i can no longer keep focussed.
somethingneeds to be done about my life.

I NEED A CHANGE.
a change of routine.
a change of heart
a change of attitude
a change of priorities.

someone, help me.

Dear Lord I pray,
that you visit me today.
to take my pain,
and throw it far away.
remind me of how great You are.
show me Your strength, Your love, Your power.
bring me close to you.
that my love for you may ever be true.
hold me tight,
in the light,
and never me out of your loving embrace.
i want to commit everything to you.
teach me to let go, and trust in You.
for You, Lord, and You only,
can make me new.




-reflections of a mortal-
lucas, signing off.